Eight ball says "ask again later" in response to my inquiry of whether or not Jack is intimately involved with either Teresa or Angie, both of whom had been involved with the two of us. After a month of back to back wine-tasting events, he finally had a weekend off and we had planned to go to Tampa together. However, after hearing of his fear of being stifled, I said, "Maybe you should go by yourself." He had said just last week that I allowed him no friends. What could I say to that? I didnt see it that way. All that I want to say, that I try to say comes out all wrong, so I wont say anything anymore, at least not for a while. Ill just write. These experiences are my muse, sometimes bitter, sometimes hot, they give me focus.
"Its so quite in here." Eldrick has Angie in the "El shack" right now as I construct this chair for the auction. El has been the kind of master I had hoped Jack could be, but Adrian prevented that. "It doesnt really matter now," I tell myself. "Oh but it does!" Let me just focus on the sensations I felt when El and Angie bound me to a chair much like this one ... the ecstatic heat of desire flowed from my dripping cunt throughout my entire body. Yet, as much as it stirs me to recreate that night in my mind, it is nothing like the un-air-conditioned summer evening in Jacks old house, when Adrian thrust her whole fist inside me as he fucked her from behind. Beyond all that, I am an artist and my experiences give me focus.
I wish Adrian were the same shy, fiery, slut she was when I first met her. Now she arouses such pain and fury in me that I can no longer even think of binding and flogging her, which is what she wants more than anything. The submission she once had is a bed overgrown with weeds of jealousy. Everything I do to cut them down makes more grow in their place. I find it ironic that she so deeply loved the book, Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns and now shes screwing me, emotionally, nothing but a thorn herself. Im supposed t... Læs hele novellen
