I wanted to see what the dominant side of a D/s relationship looked like.
Heres the result.
"Ive invited someone here for you," says Marie in a voice that wont carry.
Closing the fridge Ive just placed my beer in, I look at her with a raised eyebrow then turn to scan her apartment. It is small and thus crowded with partiers.
I have known Marie for just over a year now. We first met on line when I started to explore the lifestyle. When we found out we lived in the same city we met face to face. The two of us had become rather good friends in a short time.
She was lesbian, and a domme, so there was no sexual tension between us. I started to pick her brains about the BDSM scene. And she helped me examine why I was so interested in her world.
I grew up being dominated, not in the sexual sense but in all other aspects and unpleasantly so. Always there was the threat of pain and humiliation. It had nothing to do with discipline and everything to do with power. The people dominating me could have cared less how I turned out just so long as I didnt break their rules.
This was a difficult thing to do as I have a very strong personality. Sometimes I was perverse, disobeying for no reason other than to get up the nose of my owners. By inviting their punishment I could prove to myself that I had the grit to take it and smile.
When I became an adult, my unhappy upbringing and my anger made relationships of all kinds difficult. My distrust and dislike of those with power made working and socialising a distasteful thing.
And that attitude extended to myself. Being a strong man, I had a great deal of power of my own. Which I kept well hidden and under tight control. I was always afraid that I would be as irresponsible as those who raised and taught me. I adopted a facade of the quiet, polite person. Someone soft, with no interest of or use for power.
It didnt work well. I was always uncomfortable with this. The disguise wasnt who I was. It was a clum... Læs hele novellen
